On the second day of ‘becoming’ a blogger, I proudly shared the news to the Man I’ve been with over the past twelve years, married for ten. (The crazy love of my life).
As with any of my achievements and work, he quickly became interested in what I had to show. Excitedly, he took to the laptop.
(By the way, hubby, is no fan of online social networking sites). The internet is almost a foreign concept to him, except where sports, news and current affairs are involved of course. A man with a once promising athletic career must keep up with sports. “What’s a blog?” I did my best to muster up my most sophisticated explanation. (Because husband is a serious creature, he does not like for me or the children to waste time on meaningless nonsense). “Think of it as your own personal website where you can publish your writings on your thoughts, ideas, beliefs about various issues or even current affairs that may affect you and your community”. I left this bit last to be my climax, anything involving current affairs and the community are highly important. “Oh okay”. I started to relax a little.
“Oh, so you’re single again?” Darn. I really thought I was going to get away with it. Here we go again (sigh). We had this conversation back in 2005. When I had first started out as a journalist in 2003, we were living together, but had not married. After two years of mad attraction and love, we finally tied the knot in December 2004. My ‘by line’ had continued under my maiden name for as long as I could hold off the pressure. Having his last name hyphened next to my maiden name was/is pivotal matters to him.
It may disputably be the same for all other married men.
It is not enough that it is on our marriage certificate, it has now been incorporated on my Passport, my Driver’s License, my work identity card, my bank and credit cards (very important cards for any woman).
No it’s not enough.
It’s not enough that it is boldly displayed on my Face Book profile.
No.
A name is a married man’s mark on HIS woman. (As well as devotion, vows and all of that stuff).
It must be displayed at all times, everywhere, even on joint ownership of assets like vehicles, and homes and things like treadmills and furniture. It is very important indeed.
I’ve landed myself in a bit of a predicament. You see, as much as I love my husband, and hold very high respect and pride for his family name, (a name with much prestige and a rich cultural lineage to its existence, in its own respect), there are a few things that one must consider when ‘re-branding’ themselves.
Names are one of those things.
Rebranding is really about re-inventing yourself. I have taken a leap of faith, to reinvent my profile for the purpose of creating my blog. I simply started by labelling my profile as a Writer and a Blogger. I once read a book by a motivational speaker about reinventing your identity. That you don’t have to wait until you’ve graduated with a related degree to be something that you want. If you love to sing, then you are a singer. If you write, and love to write, then you are a writer!
But professional writers can’t have names that are too long and complicated to pronounce if you’re not Samoan. Josephine itself has nine letters. Then I have to have my maiden name. It is my identity, it is who I am, it is my father and his father and his father’s father before him, whom without their existence; I am nothing. So Nickel will have to be hyphened with Leaupepe as in “Josephine Nickel-Leaupepe”. My married name is a reminder of the promise that my husband made to me, and I to him. That he would love me and care for me for the rest of our lives together. However, there is that slight tiny little issue of just how long it seems on paper or published. Professional profiles are always short, classy and brief. Aren’t they?
I blame the 'Samoan name branding' system.
You see, when I was born my Grandfather named me ‘Siolo’, after his mother. A daughter of a warrior chief; Isamaeli Manu Samoa, from the famous mighty village of Falealili. But, my dear mother, decided to give me a second name; ‘Josephine’, the English version of ‘Sosefina’, Sose was my Great Grandmother – daughter of a high chief of the village of Vaimoso; Une Sepute. For some reason, at that time in the 80’s, having an English name for your child was an “in thing”, (at least where my mother’s circle of life existed). Most of my classmates and friends my age have English names.
So when she took to me school (Catholic girls only school), she told the school, that my English name would be used in school, and my first name, would be used at home. If you’re Samoan, this should not be news to you. It’s quite common. At least in those days. Thus, throughout my whole education, to all of my friends at school, my friends at other schools, my teachers and my friends’ parents I was Josephine Nickel. At home, the village and at church, I was Siolo. Same person, with the same names on my birth certificate, only I use the two at different places. One for home and family and the other as a professional of many things (some still to come). Awesome mom! Thinking about it now, I think it is relatively funny. (Then again, I’ve had a lot of coffee).
So naturally, I used the name that all of my external connections outside of my village and family know me by, when I wrote my first article, my ‘by line’ was Josephine Nickel. When my husband finally convinced me (after much pleasurable bribery and demands of proof of my love and commitment – MEN!) to take on his name, my professional ‘by line’ changed to Josephine Nickel-Leaupepe in March 2005 (didn't take bloody long eh). And so with the creation of this blog, we find ourselves having this disagreement again!
All of this would not have happened, if there were no such things as names.
What is a name? Why do we have names? Why aren’t we classified in a chronological sequence of numbers or codes? Or why aren’t we just people? Humans inhabiting the earth. Simply a face in the crowd. A digit on population statistics. I cannot bring myself to imagine being labelled as #334455 or something similar. It’s absurd.
The word ‘name’ itself rolls gently off the tongue and tastes soft to the lips, wrapped in a familiar warmth.
A name creates warm meaningful connections between persons. Thus names are always carefully chosen. Names bear the pride of family histories and lineages. And if you’re Samoan, names (titles) are very valuable.
The Independent, strong minded Woman in me, is a little bothered that ‘married names’ are just another way for a man to lay his claim on a woman, as if she were an object to be possessed.
But then the traitorous romantic in me, somehow finds this dazzling. The heart is a silly silly thing for a modern woman to own.
So our 'issue' has been resolved. I shall title my profile image – Josephine Nickel-Leaupepe.
