If there’s anything I have learned in the past 32 years (wow, I feel so old) of my existence, is that FAMILY is the most precious possession that we can have in a lifetime. Children are a bonus, a ‘gift from God’ in every essence of the phrase, they give us meaning and reason to live and strive for better things in life, and insurmountable joy. Husbands; now that’s just God being an awesome God. When we find someone special, someone who truly cares for us for who we are, in all our flaws, strengths and weaknesses, in sickness and in health, in rags or riches; someone who willingly offers all of themselves to us, without conditions nor expectations (well we all know there are always boundaries – but you know what I mean), someone that you can share laughter with just minutes after screaming at each other, someone who is willing to be patient with you, to walk with you in a path that they don’t understand because they desperately want you in their lives and will never be able to breath nor think without you, someone whom you can’t equally live without, that my friends is love. I only have God to thank for getting me this far and for blessing me with the most important thread that weaves, binds and hold together the all so delicate and exquisite fabric of life.
Another year added to my humble life. ‘Delicate’ being the operative word, last year, I was diagnosed with having an ‘over active thyroid’, which explained why I was having so much problems losing weight. Thyroid problems are often difficult to detect, especially if you’re on a weight loss journey, you could easily mistake the quick weight loss as progress of your intensive dieting and exercising, and the tiredness can be shrugged off as just part of the territory. Trembling in your hands and speech, quickening or slowing of your heart rate, anxiety attacks, extreme tiredness and lack of energy, weight gain or excessive fast weight loss – those are just some of the symptoms of an over active thyroid. Its biggest damage impacts mostly on your heart. Which is why specialists are so concerned about untreated thyroid problems. Apparently its quiet common in Pacific Islanders, my mother had the same diagnosis in 2012, and specialists in New Zealand were quick to diagnose and treat it. It will never go away, but treatment will ensure its under control.
Anyway, weight loss has been an ever present battle in my life. Although they say ‘Big is Beautiful’ (and Samoans particularly love this phrase, believe me I use to love it too) because it’s an excellent excuse to escape from the reality of being obese, I most certainly no longer agree. I am even more offended when women who are clearly a size 16 or less, come out and publicly proclaim that there’s nothing wrong with being big! Woman, try adding on 10 more dress sizes and come back and tell me in the face that that’s how you truly feel about being ‘big’!
There is nothing poetic about carrying around well over 90kgs = 180pounds of excess weight that you don’t need. It is awfully heavy, joint crushing, hot, stuffy, sometimes sweaty (it doesn’t happen in NZ climate so thank God), uncomfortable, can’t run, can’t play much physical sports with your kids. You can only buy and wear expensive clothes because your size in something fashionable is very rare and usually has a three figure tag price. Not to mention that you often find indirect discrimination against you in the workplace because of your weight, never mind your experience, integrity, hard work, passion and drive, your weight is I feel one of the main factors that obese people get looked over for promotions and leadership roles (because society thinks that if you can’t control your eating habits then clearly you can’t surely manage a team or a more intensive role). The list is never ending. But you see, food addiction is just like any other addiction. It is a really problem. But add to that a list of biological complications that prevent you from losing weight, including turning diabetic at 40, and you’re pretty much
So my Doctor offered to place me on the list for Bariatric Surgery. An operation whereby surgeons carry out what they call the ‘sleeve’ procedure and cut off at least 90% of your stomach (the organ that holds all of your consumed food), including the appetite sensors of your stomach to first; decrease the size of your stomach which ultimately limits the quantity of your food consumption and second to eliminate your appetite tremendously which prevents ‘hunger attacks’. All obese food addicts know what ‘hunger attacks’ are, it’s when your chest is literally pounding with hunger pains just 40 minutes after you’ve had a full meal. At that time, I was only 30 years old and weighing a whopping 163kgs. Life was not at all comfortable and my children, particularly my baby was only four years old at the time, and I was finding it hard to run after her. Let alone bath her (which required a lot of bending down). I was seeing my Doctor every two weeks, with all sorts of complications, and had been hospitalised three times with severe unexplained chest pains in the space of two years. Exercise had become detrimental to my very own health. My joints were constantly swollen from just light everyday walking.
So I agreed with my Doctor. He told me it wasn’t going to be easy. There would be a lot of processes and checks that I had to go through and I would still need to lose a certain amount of weight before the specialists put me on the list for the government funded bariatric surgery. Which if privately done, comes out to about $26,000.00; I most certainly didn’t have that kind of money to throw away for an operation. Not when you have five children to support, a young family, and the only child and main supporter of ill parents. So we went through all the checks, I got declined three times. (Because I hadn’t lost any weight and because they felt that I was still young and still had time to do it on my own – surgery should always be your last resort).
So I changed up my schedule and lifestyle. I started exercising more regularly, and eating healthy, less portions, and stopped buying soda, chips and take away, and replaced it with water and home cooked meals, soups, salads, fruits and smoothies. Three months later I started showing results. I joined weight loss challenges with friends and families which fuelled my motivation to maintain my new lifestyle. I had plenty of lapses, but I learned to get back on my feet quickly, or I wouldn’t get back up at all. Before I knew it, I had received a letter for my first information workshop on ‘bariatric surgery’ to learn what it was all about.
Main complications – death, bleeding, leaking and other slightly minor ones.
Yes, the big D word, like with any operation, death is always a possibility.
From memory the possibility of death is about 1%, the success rate of the operation itself has been proven to be 100%, the death rate has been 0.0001% in New Zealand over the past 5 plus years. Lifetime changes after the operation, you will never be able to gulp water ever, rather you’ll be sipping everything religiously. Your food portions will be much much smaller. My mate at work who’s successfully had hers, swears she can only eat half a sausage now for a meal! For the first three weeks after surgery, everything will be pureed, which makes sense because your scarring is on the inside and you need to heal first. After that, you can pretty much eat anything (healthier choices), but in very small portions. It is expected that you will lose 68% of your body weight during the first three months after the operation. Two weeks ago, I finally got the call, my operation is on the 10th of February and I have to start living on Optifast meal replacement shakes for three weeks prior to surgery to shrink my liver size and enhance fast recovery after the operation.
Thus I am not eating anything on my own birthday but smoothies and salads! However, I feel that getting the operation is going to be the best gift I can give myself.
I have not been at my recommended weight for well over a decade. When child number three came along, that was it, I started gaining progressively.
I do not recommend that all obese people should get this surgery by putting this experience in writing. I am simply being honest to myself and one of the reasons why I am always putting honest accounts of my weight loss on paper and on face book, is because in this game, often we need to be accountable to someone. If not to an audience of followers but to ourselves. I don’t want to be one of those folks who lose the weight from bariatric surgery, yet when people inquire about their ‘secret’ they pretend that they did it all on their own.
It is by no means a walk in the park or a quick fix. There are a lot of things that I am having to sacrifice in order to get this operation and lose the weight. I will never eat the same – ever! But drawing from the scriptures and Jesus teachings, ‘man does not live on food alone, but the Word of God’ helps me get through it. I will be taking vitamin supplements for the rest of my life. Will it be worth it?
To be able to drop 10 or even 20 dress sizes successfully without any further biological complications – absolutely.
To be able to play and run with my children, go bungee jumping, diving, hot balloon riding, sea and air gliding, jump from a plan for sky diving (my bucket list) and add more years to my life to spend with my family, friends, loved ones and my husband?
PRICELESS.
So this birthday, I most certainly count myself blessed and I am extremely excited to see ME again – pretty soon.
