Last week, (the week that just ended last night) was a highly satisfactory week. A group of friends and I entered a Quiz Competetion hosted by the Aoga Faa Samoa, on everything Samoan from culture, politics, entertainment, food, history, academic literature, general knowledge, sports, language, and more. I thoroughly enjoyed it and discovered that we were a bunch of crazy competitive in a good way lot! At times there was so much excitement at the table and a lot of heated discussions when we came to a divide at various answers but in the end we would always draw a consensus and agreed to disagree like the professionals we are - literally grinning from ear to ear right now. Anyway, long story short, we came out the Champions and are still revelling in our victory to a lesser and more civilised degree now. :-)
My younger three children put on performances at school (which I couldn't make time for from work this week due to increasing work commitments for the next two months - but I managed to get them to do a whole performance at home, filmed it and we had some peanuts for snacks and made a night of it (no homeworks). I think I was forgiven. I always make time for my children's school activities no matter how small or insignificant the event might be, so it was kind of a big deal particularly for 7year old when I didn't show. So the redemption was very welcomed.
On the Friday my big boss (during our usual Friday morning briefing) sprung a "I'm going on leave and Josephine will be acting in my absence" surprise. Correction - I was SHOCKED really - but ofcourse I was calm and collected and pretended like it was perfectly natural and common everyday fanatics for a 30ish year old female Practitioner (Brown for that matter) to taking up acting boss role for a District team. Sure - no problems boss. I had to literally stop myself from screaming 'oh dear God'. Thats not because I have no confidence in myself and my abilities. Far from it. On the contrary, I am aspiring towards management in my career progression and so the opportunities have always been there and I've tasted it before but NEVER on this scale (a District team). Add to it the fact that I'm a woman and of brown PI colour (the lesser achievers and poor socioeconomic ethnicities of NZ)- this is very rare in my field. So it was/is absolutely mind blowing and a much welcomed turn and indicator of my career progression.
I'm not writing this to gloat. Quite the opposite. I love to post pictures of my weight loss progress and just pictures of myself looking happy and healthy and feeling beautiful. Something I haven't seen nor felt for myself in a really really long time.
Unfortunately, some ill minded people with nothing better to do have somewhat used this to portray me as a vain and conceited person. These are some of the same people who were quick to point out how ridiculously obese and pathetic I was when I was 60kgs heavier than I am today.
I am beautiful. I know this much. I am caring, sensitive to others and their journeys, loving, generous, helpful to anyone who needs my help, supportive to anyone who needs my support.
I am compassionate and blind to race, ethnicities, social status when it comes to rating people. I am compassionate to the fallen and the less privileged. God fearing, fiercely protective mother of 5, loving and tolerant wife of 13 years of marriage.
I have the courage to laugh at myself, and the courage to place all vulnerability on the table and back up my beliefs, opinion and reasoning for what I choose to do with my life. I have the courage to fix my health problems and tell people all my weaknesses with health and depression through my writing. And still walk tall and proud. This and more makes me a beautiful person and not a single person can take that away from me.
I, like everyone else have flaws and weaknesses. But I fight to be a better person every single day. I fight for my children and my marriage and my faith every single day. And I sure as hell do not need to tell the world all my flaws just to make you feel better about yourself.
Yes I've lost a lot of weight and I look fantastic. Pictures don't lie. So I like to dance and post my awesome new body? So what? Hey I worked damn hard for it sweetie. I risked my life to go under the knife knowing full well death was a main risk but I had the courage to do it for my family and my health. I run every four days a week and eat a beggars portion to get to where I am honey, I can damn well post as much pictures as I want and if you have a problem with that, kindly unfriend me or better yet, go on a diet and get your lazy ass out for an exercise.
Looking fabulous on my photos is something I haven't had for a long time. It reminds me of how hard I've fought to get here and I won't ever go back. But pictures DON'T make the person. I am more than just a pretty face.
I am out there day and night keeping my communities safe. Keeping YOU safe. I am helping people from all walks of life with their addictions, addressing anger and violence, men to address their sexual offending behaviors. I help battered women and children get into safety, I help people to address their gambling and budgeting issues, I get hands on and dirty and I (with others like me) do so much more to reduce re-offending and crime! I am more than just a pretty picture. So if you judge me on that, you obviously need to widen your narrow world and view.
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