I’ve been on a weight loss journey since 2012 (but technically it goes as far back as when I was 9 years old or so). Things didn’t really happen for me until mid 2013, and then fat burning took to another whole new level, earlier this year with a gastric sleeve operation. (I blogged on the 1st of February 2014 about my decision to get under the knife and how I had to work hard to be eligible for it) On the 10th of February 2014 I had weighed 147kgs. Prior to that in 2012, I was sitting at a staggering 163.2kgs. Today I last weighed a month ago at 110kgs. I may very well be sitting at 105kgs or even less as I pen this piece ( I know because I was having to buy new pants over the weekend as my size 18, were literally falling off my waist).
How I got to be at morbid obesity? Well a lot of factors really. Working mother of 5 children, I had babies back to back and returned to the workforce three months later. I never really had time to listen to my body, to process the changes that I was going through mentally and physically with having to be a full time working mother of young children, (who needed me to nurture them) who asked for my full attention either intentionally or not. As with any marriage and relationship, I had to play my part in that too, and often a lot of areas in my life at that time suffered as a result. When you find yourself under that much pressure, having that much expectations and responsibilities, well something’s got to give. For me, depression slipped in and I was susceptible to it. My coping mechanism was food. Food was my escape. It made me feel good, comfortable, happy, satisfied, and it was a time that I had to myself. Somehow, the kids were looked after when I was eating and the more I felt the weight of my social pressures, the more I would eat, and sometimes even engaged in a drinking culture with friends and colleagues from work back in Samoa (thanks to mom’s babysitting services).
Recent immense progress in my weight loss journey has attracted a lot of messages asking me “How do you do it?” or another popular one has been “What’s your secret?”
Well, I do not have a secret. I have always been open right from the start about my weight loss journey for various reasons. Firstly, that I didn’t want to be someone who misled people into thinking that I lost all the weight on my own, but also secondly, I had hoped to break down some of the barriers and stigma that people who have had ‘gastric sleeve’ operations often face – when society assume that these people (like me) had no part to play in their weight loss, that the fat just all magically melted away and there was/is no struggle whatsoever, that when people come out of these operations, all of their problems just miraculously disappear!
Those stigmas are very untrue.
If you could only live a day in our shoes, a lot of people would not even contemplate the idea of cutting off well over 90% of their stomach (the organ that holds and processes your food). The mental distress associated with the realities that you can no longer eat the same again – EVER – is quite overwhelming, and it took some time for me to adjust physically and mentally. The first five to six weeks were particularly extremely hard. Vomiting food because you still tried to squeeze in a bit more, as your mind and eyes, refuse to believe that you could be full with just four tablespoons of yoghurt or just half a sausage. So you start to teach yourself – they call it the LEARNER’s stage of post op. You literally have to get to know your ‘new’ stomach. You learn what foods no longer work for you (mine excluded all my island favourites, taro, bread, raw fish, roast pig, steaks, lamb, (all red meat really) green bananas and for the first three weeks most fruits). Suddenly I had a ‘palagi’ stomach. I do not mean that in any discriminative way, it just means, that I suddenly could no longer tolerate the food that I had grown up with, and I was tolerating a more protein soft foods/liquids diet instead. Drinking is another major factor post op. There is no more gulping – EVER! The trick instead is to sip throughout the day, and you’re expected to sip 2 litres of water – that is an enormous amount of annoying sips.
I quickly learned to accept my new limitations, reminded myself of why I made the decision to go under the knife in the first place, experiment with new foods and quickly put all my new found energy (converted stored fat) into fantastic physical challenges – otherwise painfully termed ‘Exercise’. The fear of going saggy and flabby really drives me to tone my body by ensuring persistent well structured exercise.
It’s been eight months now since I had my operation, the weight loss has slowed down significantly, and I may reach a plateau if I do not maintain constant exercise and healthy eating choices. My stomach may even grow back, if I do not stick to the required portions and eating healthy. I have seen people gain all the weight back, despite having had the gastric sleeve. So maintenance of the positive new learned habits that you gained during your LEARNER’S STAGE is instrumental in maintaining effective results and moving towards your safe zone or recommended weight.
At first I did not want to write a guide/advisory piece on weight loss, because I am still on that journey and will only be safe when I reach my desired recommended goal. (I want to be at 70kgs, but my doctor reckons that would be unhealthy for my height – so 80kgs it is).
Also, I didn’t want to pen any advise as that would somewhat indicate the misleading notion that I am an expert at weight loss – I am far from it. Furthermore, I know (because I have been through it before) that often no matter what I say, write or do – it won’t help you UNLESS you really want to help yourself.
But because of the constant messages, I’ve been receiving, I have been convinced that I have had a very unique experience that I can share, which may or may not help someone. It could motivate people in the same situation, it may inspire others to start their own weight loss, or it could just help answer a lot of the questions that I have not responded to yet.
10. DON’T BE DISHONEST
So what I’ve noticed with a lot of people, and this is very common, is that people just LIE about their weight. They either under report it or over report it when they’ve lost some. An example, when I was going through morbid obesity, I always asked people about their weight, (so I could feel good about myself, by having a sense of entitlement – that I’m not so bad because there are a lot like me out there), well that was never helpful for me, because folks would always give me some figure that was always 80kgs less than my weight at that time. As I went through fat loss, I could literally compare my weight to others simply by looking at them and I’m thinking, hmmm I’m way smaller than them now, but the weight that I am now (or at that stage) is a lot more than what they told me they were at when I asked. Hmmmmm.
If you want to lose weight – be honest with yourself and be accountable to others. I have never once been judged when I opened up to somebody about my weight. Instead, I always received support and encouragement and people close to me would be more demanding but it was always clear that it came from a place of love and genuine concern for my well being.
Most people don’t even weigh themselves for fear of seeing the reality of where they really are on the obesity scale. Don’t make that mistake. I did that for almost a decade, and only just weighed myself again in 2012. BIG NO NO. Weigh yourself, be honest and accountable about your weight, it’s the first steps to accepting that you have a problem and taking conscious responsibility for that problem – and the more you openly talk about it, the more you are aware of it and in my case, the more I became motivated – and basically said ‘Right, this madness has got to stop’.
9. DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
From my own experiences, because I know seven people who have had the gastric sleeve banding, and some folks who signed up with Jenny Craig, I constantly find myself comparing my progress with theirs.
I felt that their weight loss was faster than mine; they seemed to be eating better, looking better, and shrinking rapidly as opposed to my ‘turtle’ progress.
Then I went to see my specialist dietician, and I rattled on about how distressed I was with my slow progress, and how much farther the 99kg mark seems to be and how every day I am slowly convinced that I may never get there, and all that pain I went through after the operation, was all in vain. Well she looked at me and smiled. No – she laughed. You see we must never compare ourselves to other people
•because everyone has a unique built,
•others may have more fat mass than muscle mass and vice versa,
•shorter people seem to lose faster compared to taller people (again body mass)
•medical conditions may slower your weight loss as opposed to others (this is a huge factor in my case – over active thyroid can slow down weight loss and increase appetite)
•metabolism and water retention rates, some have more than others
So you may very well be doing all the right things but factors outlined above and more that I haven’t thought of, are slowing down your progress, these are factors out of your control and you must not let it discourage you. If you have medical problems make sure you see a doctor about it, and that you have a treatment plan in place and continue with your weight loss plan as normal – BUT be patient with yourself. Be patient with your body. Believe in the process and the equation. Eat less and healthy, train and exercise regularly, drink your 2 litres of water a day, and just persevere.
One of my favourite weight loss quotes:
“The only person you should compare yourself to, is the person you were yesterday”.
8. DON’T KID YOURSELF
When I first started to run, (I hadn’t been able to run let alone jog for a very long time), I couldn’t stop. I would run for as long as I could until my lungs and legs would literally not function anymore and it felt like my lungs would burst. Nothing felt more liberating to me. The wind in my hair, my dark shades on, skins holding me close in all sorts of places, the stinging burn of fat and the pounding in my chest – it was all very exciting and adrenaline filled. But then I started to have delusions that I was Carmelita ‘The Jet’ Jetter (the world’s fastest woman), and would literally try and out jog people jogging/running on the road when I’m out running. Even tried to do this with my husband who has a super metabolism and hasn’t gained a kilo since the day we met 13 years ago. With him it worked on days when he had an injury, and I would lead us maybe a hundred metres tops, but then I let that little accomplishment go to my head and I crashed and burned, and was out of action for two weeks straight!
Be realistic with your fitness levels.
The Carmelita’s of this world did not transform into highly super fit speed stars over night.
7. DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF TO TERMINOLOGIES
I personally don’t like the word ‘diet’. When you’ve been so used to eating certain foods, and eating a certain way, the word diet can literally bring a distasteful experience. People or society often associate weight loss with strict dieting, which often links to images of food deprivation and let’s be honest starvation. This can be both distressful and discouraging and you will only bring yourself to fail one way or another.
I choose to believe that I have instead changed my lifestyle. I prefer and choose to do this out of my own will. I prefer to exercise more because it makes me feel good. I prefer to make better choices around what types of food I am putting into my body. I prefer to think of my body more consciously as my sanctuary. That in order to have a good balance spiritually, physically, and mentally, a huge deciding factor is what I’m putting into my body and how this may affect or enhance my health, wellbeing and how good I can feel in my own skin. So therefore, I am not depriving myself of anything, instead, I choose and prefer to make better choices around my food consumption, as well as other things that I put into my body, cigarettes and alcohol are other huge factors that prohibit weight loss and effective fitness progress.
I’m not going to rant on a list of foods but if you must find a place to start, start with the small things and gradually, research says that your body will eventually grave healthy food, if you consistently feed it that way.
• Oils – I now opt to use salad/vegetable cooking oils and I also buy Pam’s Olive Oil (which is not as expensive as other brands but have the same components) and when cooking I measure with a table spoon how much oil I’m using (I try to keep to 2) instead of just pouring the oil in freely.
• Butter – Chuck out the margarines – those literally take days to dissolve, especially in cold old NZ, use butter instead, go for light blues, or even Olivani butter. Better yet, try and keep it to a minimal.
• Milk – Light Blue lite caps is the way to go, or if you’re feeling adventurous green or yellow caps, lite almond and soy milk are also great alternatives.
• Breads, Taro, Green Bananas, Biscuits, Potatoes all bakery and carbs should really be consumed to a minimum. If you can remove this from your food intake completely – all the better. For the first four months of my post op stage, I was strictly on a protein based diet, with nil carbs because my stomach couldn’t tolerate it, but it worked – the pounds started to melt away at a rate of 3kgs a week.
• Grill instead of deep frying, take off the skins of your chicken and fatty chunks on your meat.
• Use raw brown sugar (natural) as opposed to White processed sugar
• Increase vegetables in your meals by adding more to your dishes
• Be creative with your dishes
• Cut down portions by cooking less, so there’s no left overs and no seconds for everyone. You will not only make savings on your budget, as you won’t need to buy so much, and second you’ll be doing your family members a favour with their own waist problems.
• Drink water, 2 litres DAILY – I cannot stress this enough
• You know the five meals a day? (three main and two snack meals) cut that out completely. Drink your water, and stick to three good main basic well portioned meals a day
Remember you’re the boss of yourself, you can make a plan around how many cheat days you’re going to have. If and when you do cheat, choose something that can be easily fixed with a good workout. The idea however, is that if you stick to making healthier choices, your body may not grave a ‘cheat day’ too often.
6. DON’T LIMIT YOUR CHOICES
There is never a ‘one size fits all’ guideline for weight loss. This is my personal belief and experience. We are all different. It is crucial that you explore choices for exercise and meals as much as you can, so you are not limited of your choices.
Other popular meal options out there include smoothies and juicing. Instead of wasting time browsing on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, you can put that into good use by looking up the variety of pages and organisations that offer free healthy meal plans, smoothie and juicing ideas.
There are also other weight loss support groups and organisations that you can find on the net and Facebook the likes of Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and so much more.
There are APPs that you can download to monitor your steps for the day, APPS to scan barcodes off your phone on food items that you buy so that you know exactly what’s in the products that you’ll be eating. I particularly like the Weight Watchers APP which has both the barcode system and also a meal plan system, which gives you the exact amount of calories etc. that you can have each day to meet your goal weight by your preferred or suggested time frame. It’s scary how much one cookie can slow down your progress! Yep!
Use the new media and modern technology to your advantage, for one it helps support you all the way and eliminate feeling isolated in your journey, AND a lot of it is all FREE!
5. DON’T GO WITHOUT A PLAN
Again I don’t like to have a set concrete structure around what I can or shouldn’t do.
However, I’ve learned that in order to be successful in weight loss, the same concept in other areas of life must apply. I must have a plan.
Plan your workouts. Set some short term goals. Check and cross check what you have done, how well you did it and what you could do to improve it or take it to the next level.
If you work full time, or studying, plan your meals and lunches. Be so organised, so that when you have a hunger attack, you’ve got a healthy meal or snack or a smoothie on hand and you won’t turn to a fast food for an easy fix.
When I first started back at exercising again in 2012, well before I had my operation; I decided to start with going to the pools. My joints would literally swell up from too much walking because I was so heavy and they were caving in as a result. The pools on the other hand carry your weight, making walking and squats a lot more easier and enjoyable. In NZ there is a pool at every suburb and most are free or charged at very low affordable prices. Each pool offers different activities, and the one I chose had Aqua Aerobics and Zumba in the water. It was a great way to start, and also starting from a very low moderate level of physical challenge encouraged the drive to challenge myself physically.
And remember, weigh yourself, plan out how often you’re going to do this; minimum should be at least every month. It’s the only way to constantly keep a tap on your progress or lack thereof. It’s an indicator of whether your eating plan is working, or whether your exercise plan needs to be increased.
4. DON’T IGNORE YOUR BODY
I’m no expert in fitness, yet. But I know this for sure; when I don’t listen to my body things go to kaka. Listen for signs of distress. Listen for extreme fatigue. Listening to your body includes your head. Are you in the right state of mind? Sometimes there may be too much going on at work, at home, the children are asking for your attention more often than most days, the bills will never go away, someone’s dead and you have to come up with your contribution (particularly for PI families this can be extremely distressing when you have a million other things to pay) all this can contribute to your overall mental wellness. Physical and mental must be in sync and you need to give both time to sort themselves out. For some exercise can be a stress reliever, a get away from all the social stresses at home and work. I tend to do this myself. For some however, it’s not that easy. And that’s ok. It’s important to know and understand that that’s okay and we’re all different. If you need to take time out, do so, but ensure that longest you should go without some form of exercise should be kept to a minimum of one week.
I plan my exercise schedule with a target of minimum of three days of challenging exercise. In between these days, I rest. I give my body time to recover for the next exercise. It works for me. Find what works for you.
3. DON’T LET IT GET BORING
One of the worst enemies of exercising and weight loss is when it becomes just a process in motion. When it becomes boring, you become complacent. KEEP IT FUN.
I do this by changing my routine continuously and varying my workouts and the activities I do. Sometimes I change things around monthly, sometimes weekly. That’s how I keep it fun. Going to the gym continuously can become boring, but when you have a dedicated partner to go with you, and you both push each other along, the gym can be quite fun. You take note of how many lapses on the cross trainer you did the day before and push yourself to the next level the next day.
I like to walk on the road, through the towns, taking in my surroundings and the smells of the suburbs and the busy towns with all its fast food and take away restaurants.
I like to go to parks with intensive challenging routes and tracks, and basking in the beauty of nature.
Some days when it rains or too cold I just turn on the music on high, and do my own spin on zumba, some squats, sit ups, push ups, suicides (short quick intense running methods), Kim Kardashian booty work, blanks the works really, all in the comfort of my garage.
I join challenges when it suits my schedule, fitness at work, zumba, Power Lifting and Fight Do at my local gym. Find what works for you and run with it!
2. DON’T EAT PAST 9pm
This is a big one. I personally like to eat before 8pm, but I realise this may not be realistic for other people. For my family, we’ve gotten so use to eating at 6:30 or 7:00pm maximum that no matter what we’re doing, we always ensure that we’ve got our dinner cooked by then, and that everyone’s home by then. That includes me if I’m out running.
The reason being is that by 8:00pm, I’m not doing much physical activity to burn my dinner off. I’d be helping with the children’s home works, watching the news on repeat, then sometimes blogging, face booking, doing some work, or watching TV. The point is, you don’t want to have a huge meal sitting there unprocessed overnight, you want to burn it before you go to bed. Otherwise, you run the risk of turning it into stored fat.
1. DON’T GET COMPLACENT
Another big enemy. So you do really well, you stick to your plan and two or three months later you’ve lost some significant weight and you start to think you’re the pro now. That was my biggest downfall, for as long as I could remember, and it would always see me quit after four months or so of trying and this had become a pattern, so much so that every time I tried to start up again, my husband would ask “How long will it be this time?”. Complacency gives way to old habits. Simple as that, so do not ever take things for granted. Don’t ever start justifying your bad habits. That one piece of chocolate will turn into the whole block when you do. Always be on alert, always remind yourself of what’s at stake. Your health, well being and happiness.
Eyes on the prize they say!
Right that’s all I can think of for now, if anyone has any other important useful tips that I’ve missed that has worked for you; please do add to the DON’TS LIST.
